Culture shock

Currently suffering a severe bout of the above following a return to work after a bout of Galloping Galactic Flu.....and I'm not sure which is worse! Plenty of links but not enough energy to post......more later!

You suck at Photoshop Episode 3

The Philosophies of Butter

Found on Neatorama.....they got it from Accordian Guy, who got it from Tweebiscuit......

If LOLCats took over the internet........

Now the LOLinator wasn't working when I tried it (and could be a wind-up I guess!), but here's a link to what it does to the sainted Microsoft

Advance warning

Sarah gave me a vintage book for Christmas....."Personality Unlimited...The Beauty Blue Book...Veronica Dengel"...published shortly post WW2. Here's the stirring UK foreword as a taster....

"To the Women of Great Britain and the Empire

I realize that my book may see publication before all the effects of the war have passed. It is quite possible that many of my suggestions concerning diet, cosmetics, and clothing, may temporarily prove impractical, and be subject to substitutions, because of post-war shortages.

But I have such confidence in the ingenuity and resourcefulness of English women, as well as the recuperative powers of the British Empire, that I believe you will soon be able to take advantage of every helpful detail.

I hope that before many months I shall be able to visit your country and talk with you personally."

......I wonder whether Veronica made it!

Watch out for instructions for a home enema coming soon to this page......with diagrams!

(in the meantime, remember.....and this is very VERY important ladies...."it is dangerous to rely on a red hat for a youthful, dashing look; it might result in emphasizing your age and adding an unwanted 'giddiness' to your appearance".....so, you've been warned!)

Only 15$

Because we all need a single tentacle arm for that problematical theme party don't we!

The sales pitch.......
"While we've been using our primitive, apelike arms like a bunch of jerks, the squids of the world have been clutching their prey with their superior tentacles and laughing at us. Until now! For the first time, you can have tentacles of your very own. Equipped with suction cups and plenty of creepy greenness."

I'll take 10!

Link

Childrens Books Online

Just a random image from "The Marquis of Carabos" at Childrens Books Online - The Rosetta Project. It's a positive treasure trove, so be prepared to leave plenty of 'quality time' free before you click on the link!

Coughs and Sneezes

Amusing health propaganda trailer on the dangers of sneezing. NHS from 1948
OK, I can see the funny side now!

Infomertial heaven

Keep an eye open for the incongruous fag-smoking Hazel......and always remember that "times quoted do not include preparation time"!

You can watch a REAL review of the Magic Bullet here, watch the man make snow!

The Grainger Market goes East....

Shanghai Shopfronts....a photographic gallery from Polar Inertia.
The archive page is worth checking out too

Rather beautiful (card) trout models

Found on this Japanese website

Barts chalkboard

Bart will chalk it up just for you here

Katnip Kollege

Spotted on BoingBoing and Ursi's Blog.....so it MUST be good!

Rolf lives!

I was going to post a link to a timewaster "desktop stylophone" yesterday when I found you can buy the damned things again and my (year-old) link had "died" But, not to be outdone, I've found another one! Family members can thank their lucky stars I didn't realise the real thing was again on offer....you could have waved bye-bye to those webcams!

A Geordie Recipe.....

"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."

Can't remember where I found that.......but that's probably no bad thing!

Scottish recipes

Unfortunately currently out of stock, but I've ordered it anyway! (at Amazon)
Expect Mince and Tatties and Clootie Dumplings next time you call!

Following on......Crystal Tips......and Alastair!

Vinegar tips

Nothing more, nothing less. 1001 uses. (found while pickling red cabbage!)

vinegartips.com

Tynemouth Fire Tower

A page about a local landmark, the Fire Control Tower for Spanish & Castle Batteries

But then, of course, this started me thinking.....coming as it did from Subterranea Britanica. So here's a couple of other local underground oddities.....

The Victoria Tunnel which runs directly under our labs at work
Kenton Bar - 13 Group Fighter Command Headquarters and Region 1 Regional War Room

More deserted places

If you're in the mood for more spooky dereliction you could try The Hospital.....tagline "Stay a while, stay forever" Oooer!

99rooms.....

.....is an interactive flash experience, it's not really a game as such, the only object being to get to the end......it's purely linear. On some screens you need to find something to move on. Atmospheric soundtrack and nice photography of a decaying industrial space for those with a passing interest in german grafitti.

99rooms

Burns Night is on the culinary horizon (25th January)

And alongside the "noble beastie" and spring cabbage I'll be doing Orkney Clapshot.....recipe follows

Clapshot

An Orkney recipe that's perfect with Haggis (or anything else for that matter!).
Enough for 3 or 4

Ingredients
1 pound boiled potatoes
1 pound boiled turnip or swede
2 tablespoons chopped chives or finely chopped spring onions
Salt and pepper
2 ounces butter

Method
Cook the potatoes and turnip separately.
Beat the two vegetables together while still hot.
Mix in the butter, chives and seasoning.
Stir over heat till it is piping hot before serving.

Information on Burns.......the man behind "the night", just in case you're completely confused by the reference!

Directory of documentaries

There's a comprehensive directory of (full-length) documentaries available at Bodocus, there's over 650 at the last count apparently.

Here's one picked at random....."The Lair of the Red Worm"

Tweet tweet

Listen to the result online or download it as an mp3 to use as a ringtone
Nightingale-song.com has other audio toys to play with too
"Cullercoats sandy beaches" can be heard in the box files, just click on the filename.

A couple of free graphics software download favourites

Petite PhotoFiltre download.....it's French! (1.6mb), relatively powerful (as in 'it'll do most things you want to do with a picture').....and it's even 'portable', just extract to your pen drive and you can use it anywhere (in French initially but the last time I tried you have the option to change the language after installation)
PhotoFiltre Download page
PhotoFiltre Tutorials page

If you want something a bit more 'industry standard' you could try Gimp (with it's slightly steeper learning curve) or it's photoshop lookalike version gimpshop.

Gimp online user manual

It would pass muster today....

....as a book jacket. But it hit the Finnish bookstands in 1959.
the nonist again

The Art of Bookbinding

I found this at the nonist (new find, will definitely be visiting again!)

"The British Library has a dynamite collection of fine and historical bookbindings numbering, evidently, in the thousands, and their online database will happily serve them up, in random groups of 25, for your ogling pleasure. On the whole they are ludicrously beautiful, making those spiffy, redesigned, Penguin Classic’s we’re all so fond of look about as precious as supermarket circulars. To see them for yourself go here and simply click “reselect” to see more."

Another failed dance craze

Found at PCL Linkdump

Every now and then you need some graph paper....

.....for an assignment, a craft project or a lesson plan. But do you have any? Of course you don't! Help is at hand at PrintFreeGraphPaper.....now all you need is an ink cartridge in your printer!

Find your nearest atm

I tried out this website by typing in my postcode and was impressed when it came up with the atm buried in my local corner shop at the top of the list! There's worldwide coverage so it could be useful in a 'print-out-before-you-go' holiday context.

Cat costumes

Could we be seeing pictures of Merlot and Syrah sporting these outfits next xmas I wonder?

How a bobbin works...

.....I always wondered! And there's more information on the internal workings of a sewing machine at How Stuff Works

A mission statement and a half!

I couldn't resist downloading this book from archive.com. It turned out to to be a bit of a disappointment except for it's stirring 'mission statement', here's just an extract!

"We are anxious to render elegant amusements conducive to the attainment of moral ends; and to lay that foundation of intellectual superiority, and affectionate regard, for the comfort and happiness of others, which can alone give light and animation, sweetness and blooming freshness, to the interesting scenes of future life. All engagements, which are calculated to elevate, soften, and harmonize the human character, have this tendency ; and it is in the assured conviction that the employments here treated of, are, when cultivated in due subordination to higher duties, well adapted to secure these objects, and to promote these domestic ends, that the Ladies' Work-Table Book has been prepared, and is now presented
to the lovely daughters of our land."

North Tyneside oral histories

There's an interesting collection here at Tynelives

Party masks extraordinaire

Child-sized downloadable template.....but with a bit of enlargement?
Lots more party paper stuff as well as recipes aimed at the younger generation (in French) at the Tomlitoo website.

Make your own tartan.....

.....on the Vivienne Westwood page at the V and A

Listen to Wikipedia......

....at PediaPhon. Just type in your search term and PediaPhon will do the rest......you can opt for a downloadable mp3 of your chosen article or just listen directly in your browser.
It's available in English, German and French flavours.

Putting on the Ritz

Just back from a family party.....one thing led to another and nostalgia kicked in (maybe due to the chest infection......it gets you like that!) I came back with some ancient photos to scan......and to cut a long story short I needed to check out Fred Astaire doing 'Putting on the Ritz'.....look, I have my reasons! All YOU have to do is enjoy the performance!

If you like vintage cinema images....

.....there's nowhere better than 'It'll take the snap out of your garters'!

Don't think I'll be trying this at home!

How To Make Fire Balls - video powered by Metacafe

Meeow, meeow......

Busby Berkeley knew a thing or two!

Found at PCL Linkdump

Weekend gore fest.....

It's been a bad week. First it was a painful back-to-work-after-the-Christmas-break experience and now I've come down with some chest-related ailment that even makes my skin hurt......I'm in the mood for murder and mayhem!

Jayisgames says.....
"Built in 1970, and deserted some time after that, no one has entered the house since the entire family committed suicide due to reasons unknown. Point-and-click your way through the house to unfold the mystery of what really happened to that fateful fictitious family. Best viewed alone, late at night, in the dark, and with the sound turned up."

Sounds good to me!

Play 'The House' here

Wonder why this idea didn't take off?

Could it possibly be the 'Jeez, that's gotta hurt!' factor?

Sounds

Another music search site (listen or download) at mp3 realm

Tarting it up......

......a picture that is!

I've been meaning to post on some of my favourite 'online apps' and free downloadable software for photo editing for a while. Believe me, there's hours of fun to be had!

Some online apps for starters....

FotoFlexer

Pixenate

Snipshot

Phixr

Piknik

We haven't done 'cute' for a while......

How about a bouncing baby goat?

Photoshop tutorial with a difference

This is actually part 2 of the series.......you want to watch part 1?

Similar.....but different

Try it, and see
If you like it try Flow
About Han Hoogerbrugge at Wikipedia

Interactive flash thingy

It's been around for ages.....but it's still fun!
Use the direction arrows to move FlyGuy around his personal universe.

Send nosehairmail

Oh look, just because you can!
Your recipient gets to tweak the growing nasal hair to display the next word in the message(with sound effects).....strangely satisfying!
Do it here

It's a long time until Easter.......

.....so why not celebrate other folks festivals while we wait for the next bank holiday?

Here goes.......
January heralds the camel wrestling festival in Turkey......though I'm not sure how this would work in the (currently bleak) NE of England. OK, so maybe I didn't think this through and I need to do a bit more research!

This one ISN'T in the list......

......but I'd love to see it! Ian McShane pre Lovejoy.

Weird and wonderful films

Check out a long list posted at Eye of the Goof, all of which you can either watch online (low res, but good enough to try before you decide whether to go for the high res version) or download (copyright free and completely legal!) from Archive.org. Here's just the 'A's' for a taster.......

The Amazing Mr. X
The Amazing Transparent Man
The Ape
Assignment: Outer Space
Atom Age Vampire
The Atomic Brain
Attack of the Giant Leeches
Attack From Space

LATER....I've watched the first (small screen) 10 mins of Atom Age Vampire and decided to go for the full download for a fun-filled saturday nights viewing pleasure......but let's face it, I'm easily pleased!

Midweek game....an attempt to combat back-to-work blues

THE FACTS.....I looked at the office clock yesterday morning (first day of term!) absolutely convinced it must be nearly lunchtime.....it was 10.10am......so, roll on Spring! In the meantime, we could all give this game a try.

Jayisgames says...........
"You begin staring at a desk littered with items (and I say, "oh....that sounds sort of familiar!"), including a mysterious (and rather out of place) box. In just a few clicks you find yourself in a dark corridor symbolizing your subconscious mind. Five doors surround you, each leading to a different room packed with puzzles. As you piece together clues from these rooms you open new areas to explore and gather even more items to use. For the most part, items you find will be used in the same room to solve multi-stage puzzles. This isn't always the case, of course, so don't be afraid to carry things back and forth and try out new ideas."

It's called Synapsis.....and you can play it here

Collective nouns

So what would you call a lot of them?
Find out here

A prickly subject

Now, those cacti that I brought back from Amsterdam don't look anything like the ones on the left......yet.

I think I'll be refering to this website when it gets round to the growing season

British Cactus and Succulent Society

LATER....When I got round to actually reading some of the content I found I'd already probably killed the poor things by watering them....firstly, when I shouldn't have, secondly, the wrong way... even if it was the right time to do it.

In short.....THEY'RE DOOMED!